ITT: I Vent

And I’m leaving, on a jet plane. Don’t know if I’ll be back again…

…

… I’ll be here.

I’ve been thinking recently of putting this blog to rest and starting fresh somewhere new. A new design and a new focus are in order, I think.  Something that friends and family will be able to access when McDreamy and I are in Random Asian Country.

I’m still toying with this idea for the moment and I may run both simultaneously for a while. I like this space - but since the break it doesn’t feel right anymore.

And now, I must pretend to look busy for the next five hours and what better way to do that than to fiddle with a new template?

There are good days and there are bad days. Last Friday was a bad day.  I woke up in a bad mood and it followed me all day, and then right into the evening. 

McDreamy had made plans to go out (plans that I had opted out of because I just didn’t feel like going out), and despite his offer to stay home if I wanted him to (an offer that I spurned with, “Oh please. Like I want you around when you’re going to be resentful towards me because I asked you to stay in.”), I just had to give him a hard time for going out. I don’t know why. I suppose I wanted him to stay in and help me with housework without me having to ask.  I know this is a tall order; it’s just that I hate being the “taskmaster”. The one always saying, “Okay, we have to do this and this and this.”

After McDreamy left (I can’t really blame him for wanting to get away from me at that point), and after four hours of housecleaning and a stiff gin and tonic, I was over my little martyrdom of being The One Who Always Cleans* so I sent him some text messages to the effect of, “Come home and make love to my hot, naked body.” He seemed very enthousiastic, except for the fact that he came home at some ungodly hour and then promptly passed out before being able to do much of anything to my hot, naked body.

Oh, the joys of domestic bliss.

I sometimes look back on these moments that I have; these completely crazy and irrational moments and I wonder why he’s with me.

* This isn’t really true because McDreamy DOES clean.

Today is a disaster already. Work is crazy. House is a mess. I’m irritated about waking up and the house being messy. I’m just irritated by everything right now, really.

To make matters worse, my Micromanaging Boss has had a sit down with me to tell me that the fact that I sent an electronic version of a document Upstairs without her approving it first was a no-no. I mean, I specified in the email that it was draft and not approved yet, and I copied her on that email. It’s something we do all the time and so I don’t really get what the big deal is. Well, the deal is that she wanted me to ASK her first. Ask before sending emails on top of copying her on everything.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

So, I’m irritated. IRRITATED.

I’m having a poutine for lunch, and I don’t care if it goes right to my ass because I’m so fucking irritated that I need something nice to make me feel better.

Stash Licorice Spice Tea (Decaf) - I’m usually not a huge fan of herbal tea because they tend to be bitter and I need to add honey to them to make them somewhat palatable for me. But this tea? This tea is like heaven and if I had to give up coffee, it would be for this tea. I’ve been drinking it all day, every day.

Clarins Multi Active Day Cream & Clarins Multi Active Night Cream - The most perfect moisturisers I’ve ever tried.  Seriously.

Banana bread slathered with butter. For breakfast.  (Probably contributing to my fat ass, but you know, it’s so good I don’t care.)

McDreamy.  Because he’s wonderful and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Oh the snow! I mean, I know I live in Canada, which sort of means that snow comes with the territory - but there is SO MUCH SNOW right now. I’m sure skiiers out there are happy and looking forward to fluffy hills on the weekend, except that it’s supposed to creep up to almost 0 degrees tomorrow so all the snow that is falling today won’t be there on the weekend. SUCKAS!

This morning was really difficult because I just didn’t want to get out of bed. McDreamy is staying in (but he drove me to work anyway - so sweet), and work is well - work. It’s busy and interesting but I’m starting to resent my boss’ micromanagement.  Small comfort that she doesn’t only do it to me, but to everyone.  She must know what everyone is doing at all times and be copied on absolutely every email that everyone sends out. I don’t mind so much because I figure eventually she’ll get bored of it (or overwhelmed by the sheer number of emails she’s getting) and eventually trust me to do my job. (I know this is overly optimistic and that micromanagers don’t ever really change.)

I guess I’m still tired from last night, where I had a yummy number of gin & tonics (four I think) with friends in a cozy pub after my Random Asian Language class.  We stayed up until about 1 a.m. which isn’t terribly late, but when you have to get out of bed at 7 a.m. and when you’re used to having much more sleep, it’s a struggle to get going. Tonight is a definite Stay In And Do NOTHING night.  I suppose this means I’m officially OLD seeing as I’m bitching about how 1 a.m. is late.

Did I mention there was lots of snow? TONS! Don’t believe me? Watch this.

I suppose I started off yesterday with good intentions regarding the sad state of my fat ass, but it seems that I wavered towards the end.

Breakfast:

Spelt Flakes with low-fat soy milk.
Coffee with honey (instead of sugar) and lactose-free creamer stuff (soy milk seems to curdle in my coffee and milk makes my bowels die a horrible death and that is not a very pleasant experience)

Lunch:

Banana
Apple
Piece of gooda cheese (yum!)
Organic strawberry yogurt

Then when I got home, I don’t know what happened. Okay, what happened was that I ate about half a bag of Doritos (the lime ones), with about half a cup of that gooey and delicious tex-mex cheese dip.  Let’s face it, I might as well have just added the calories straight to my thighs.  Oh, and I had a beer.

AND I WASN’T EVEN HUNGRY!  I just felt like I wanted to nibble.

For dinner, I made:

Roasted duck breasts with a shallot mustard sauce (McDreamy and I split a duck breast, as they tend to be rather huge.)
Pureed carrots
Brown/wild rice

Tonight is my Bikram yoga night followed by Pho. I like Pho, but it’s loaded with salt so not really the healthiest choice (but healthier than a Big Mac I suppose).  Other than the yoga, I’m not doing much exercise because I just can’t be bothered. I also don’t know what sorts of exercise to do because I don’t want to join a gym, and it’s too cold/snowy to be running outside. Ideas anyone?

Scale is still not purchased but we need to pick up some butter (for banana bread) tonight so I’ll pick up a scale as well and go through the humiliation of posting weight updates - humiliation is really the only motivation that works for me anyway.

Wooden-Handle Clutch with Zebra Print (Old Navy)

Pay day is only two days away.  WoohoO!

So here I am again, not quite sure what to write after this brief “break” from blogging. I suppose an update is in order?

McDreamy

Things with McDreamy are back on track, in a very good way. We’ve worked out some major issues and while nothing is ever perfect; I think we’ve managed to strike a good balance.   The blogging about our relationship will still be kept at a minimum to ensure that when I have gripes, issues etc. that I talk about them first with him, rather than vent about it on here.  Maybe in time I’ll be able to achieve a balance that works for us.

Work

Work is still incredibly busy and not blogging has made me realize how much MORE work I get done when I’m not always thinking about my next post. This does bring up the question of whether or not I should be blogging at work.  I might try blogging at home more, however much I hate turning on my laptop when I’m at home in my PJs.

Health

I still feel like a fat cow.  I suppose spending three days in a chalet consuming one million calories in the form of fondue, beer and chips doesn’t help matter much either. In any case, prompted by the fact that all the other girls at the chalet were skinnier than me, I’m on a mission to lose 15 pounds.  In an effort to boost my motivation, I will be buying a scale soon. I’ve never had one because I’ve never really had an obssession with my weight (I guess cause I was always a size 0?).  But I recently weighed myself at a friend’s house and was a chunky 130 pounds, which according to loads of websites, gives me a high BMI (bordering on OVERWEIGHT) for my weight/height ratio. Ick.   The excess weight seems be to be residing in my mid-section (ass/tummy/thighs) which means I might have to start doing sit ups? Double ick.

So, mission Get Rid of Lard Ass is back on. 

General

Our car was broken into a couple weeks ago. That sucked alot. They broke a window only to take about three dollars’ worth of change. Boo!  I suppose that’s the price we pay for living in a central but crack-ridden neighbourhood. (BUT SO CENTRAL!)

….

(It’s good to be back.)

If anyone wants my password, please ask in a comment to this post.